Entry XX

I find myself constantly yearning for comfort. Whether it’s hands, body or simply a presence. I can see that in my students. The moment their eyes flicker at you. Lip out, eyes widening and arms stretching towards you. We put a tougher front when we grow up but we still need it. I can’t imagine why wouldn’t we :)

I wish I could reach out and hold their hands again. Rub their fingers. Sleep holding hands and believe our worries will slip through the fingertips. We sleep pressing against each other, smelling our eventful or event less day on each others’ breasts . “I don’t have to do well, do I?” “No.” “I’ll be OK quitting my job?” “Yes.”  “Will you keep me if no one would?” “ Yes.”  “I don’t have to do well, do I?” “It’s OK not to be good?” “It’s OK that I’m not that good?” “It’s OK, right?”